we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
