I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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