Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
