Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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