Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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