i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize