How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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