R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
