The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
