what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
