I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize