Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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