Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
