i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
