DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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