I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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