he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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