with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
