He is an equal opportunity slut.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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