I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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