sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
