ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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