How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
