If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
home. puking in laundry basket.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
