i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
