Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
