she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
