I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I came so hard my ears popped.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
