Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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