How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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