is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
