You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
