Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
