I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
