In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
