Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
