I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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