..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
