I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
