Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
