i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it because I queefed?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
