Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
