That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
