Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
