Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
