the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
