dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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