he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
