shes about as inviting as chlamydia
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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