What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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