Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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