I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
