I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
