We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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