I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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