Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
