white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
as a side note pls kill me
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