what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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